Playing the Field On-line

What do you think of on-line dating? I don’t know about you, but I still can't decide. I’ve had one friend, a college buddy, that did it through Yahoo Personals. When I spoke to her six months ago, she’d mentioned she was thinking about dropping her membership because she’d mostly been on terrible dates. Four months ago, I was puttering around looking at people’s profiles on MySpace* and suddenly noticed that she’d switched her dating status to ‘In a relationship.’ I called right away to get the scoop, and she told me that before she’d cancelled her membership with Yahoo Personals, she’d decided to do one more filter using fifteen criteria that were really important to her – like, non-smoking, Catholic, social drinker, etc. She said that only five people met all fifteen of those criteria. Out of the 10 million people living in the NYC Metropolitan Area, only five of them were dateable per Yahoo!**

*I love looking to see what my friends put as their interests/hobbies, favorite books, etc. For some reason, I find it incredibly absorbing and often times feel that I gain some insight into these fascinating strangers I call my friends. For instance, I was shocked to discover that my friend, Ashley, identified Joe Dirt as one of her all time favorite movies. Who knew such a thing was possible?

**She lives and works in the Newark area.

So anyway, she ends up emailing all five people. Hears back from two of them. Goes out on two horrific dates. Mentally gives up on ever finding a soul mate and then, two weeks later, receives an email from one of the remaining three that hadn’t responded. He lives on the east side of NYC, so in terms of proximity is pretty far away. She mentions this as a concern, but they continue to communicate through email over the following weeks. In one of their conversations, they discover that he works in Newark less than a mile from her. They decide to meet for lunch the following day. And, since then, have been inseparable. I asked her how it was different with him than with other guys and she immediately responded that with him it didn’t feel forced. I thought that was nice.

I guess I don’t have a problem with on-line dating in principle. In fact, it seems romantic in a weird sort of modern way. It’s just that I’m one of those people that have a tough time jumping into the fray and getting messy. Deep down, I think setting up an on-line dating profile would make me feel as if I were succumbing to loneliness or admitting that there’s something missing from my life. Another aspect of on-line dating that frightens me is the fear of going out on frequent bad dates. There’s nothing worse than being stuck hanging out with a person you just don’t get along with, fulfilling a social obligation that most likely neither of you wish you had to fulfill. How could a person keep from becoming jaded under those circumstances?

Also, I tend to approach situations from the standpoint of a smart ass. I’m not proud of this. I’m aware that this persona is a childish defense mechanism. In fact, I admire people that are open and sincere and that can just blindly throw themselves out there. I’m totally attracted to those sorts of people.*** Twenty-seven years old is young, but I’m pretty sure that at this point, my personality is established. It is what it is. I am what I am. I am Iron Man. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. DUH, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. DUH. DUH. DUH. Etc. I think I’ll just have to learn to embrace it and chalk it up to being a charming quirk. Now I just need to meet someone that finds quirkiness irresistible…

***Wisely, those sorts are frequently not attracted to me. For some reason they seem to want to mate with other nice, sincere people. Fine. Screw them. I don’t need anybody!

On the plate for my next entry: Maybe I’ll stick with the theme of dating and provide some stories detailing my worst dates. Yes … that could be both humiliating and therapeutic. Perhaps I will.

Boo-ya!

- Elves Eat Klondike Bars