SWF Seeks Handsome Carnie

Since I live in the city and don’t own a car, I’m in a cab several times a week. I don’t know if other urbanites feel the same way, but for some reason, I’ve never felt the need to use the seatbelt. I started reviewing my logic behind this the other day when I read a news article about a cab passenger that was killed in an auto accident. With the exception of cabs, my first move when getting into a car is to put my seatbelt on. I think most people my age grew up wearing seatbelts, and doing so has become an unconscious act. I feel odd if I’m not ‘strapped in.’

Except in cabs.

In cabs, I feel odd if I am wearing a seatbelt. I know that logically, a cab is just as dangerous if not more so than riding in any other car. Think about it, a lot of cabs are older, poorly maintained vehicles, and some of the drivers drive in a needlessly aggressive manner. I’ve had a lot of great experiences with cabs, but I’ve also had plenty of unpleasant ones. On top of that, the odds of getting hit by someone else while in a cab are just as likely as in any other car. So, I’ve concluded that wearing a seatbelt in cabs is important, and I’ve started forcing myself to wear one for the past week or so.

The gross thing about it is that cabs are part of the public transit system, and accordingly utilized by the general public. This means that most cabs have an ambiance that I would define as oily, smelly and dusty all at once. Pulling that seatbelt down and securing it across your front makes you feel surrounded and locked in by the ambiance. It is unpleasant. Also, a lot of the seatbelts don’t even work. This morning I struggled with mine for about five minutes before switching to the other side to try my luck. The cab driver seemed confused by the fact that I spent most of the ride thrashing around in the back.

Have you ever been to London? I wonder how they keep their cabs so clean and nice. It’s bizarre, yet awesome.

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A STUPID QUESTION

So, yesterday on the site meter I noticed that someone had located my blog while searching for answers on Google. They were seeking guidance about the following topic:

Is sitting on your foot unsanitary?

My initial reaction when I saw this was, ‘What the hell kind of a question is that?’ I keep trying to figure out if the googler is concerned about crotch germs getting onto his feet or feet germs invading his crotch (I apologize for being crass). While I wouldn’t condone drinking your own pee, I think it’s fairly obvious for reasons to which I’ll only infer that crotch germs aren’t toxic. Is it bad that I’m feeling a strong current of Catholic guilt right now for making a veiled reference to a sex act? Just typing the word ‘sex’ makes me cringe a little and feel embarrassed.

So based on the above, it is my opinion that crotch germs aren’t generally dangerous. Particularly to your feet. On the other hand, how unsanitary can your foot be? I pretty much always wear shoes when I go outside, and doesn’t most everyone shower on a daily basis? So my guess is that most people’s feet aren’t dangerously filthy. To be safe, maybe we should all make a conscious effort to only sit on our feet while wearing a minimum of underpants and socks to ensure there’s a layer of protective fabric separating your foot from your crotch and vice-versa. As your accountant, I advise you to do this.

THIS WEEKEND

I’m leaving Chicago tomorrow evening to spend a long weekend in Alabama with my parents. The County Fair is going on right now, which I’m really excited about. I haven’t been since high school.

I am hoping that they still have the tilt-a-whirl ride, the oversized produce contests, and that I can find a nice carnie to make out with while riding through the haunted house. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

-ridEs, producE and livestocK = fun