Ward Cleaver He is Not

A conversation I had with my dad yesterday:

ME: Hey Dad. How’s it going?
DAD: Good. Good. How’re you?
ME: Good. Hey. What city was I born in?
DAD: Huh?
ME: City. I’m trying to order a new copy of my birth certificate, and I have to tell them which city.
DAD: Um. It was Lake County wasn’t it?
ME: I don’t know, but I need to know the city. Hillsdale or Coldwater. Which one?
DAD: (Thinks for a moment.) Were you the one who’s hospital room I got kicked out of?
ME: (Shaking my head and feeling sorry for myself all over again.) Yes.
DAD: It was Coldwater then.
ME: I can’t believe you got kicked out of my room.
DAD: Oh, c’mon? You were a baby. You didn’t even notice.
ME: Yeah, but that’s still terrible. I was a defenseless child.
DAD: Oh … you’re fine. You’d never have even known if your mom hadn’t told you about it later.
ME: You were smoking and drinking beer.
DAD: I was celebrating.
ME: You were carrying around a cooler full of alcohol.
DAD: (Chuckles to himself as if reliving a pleasant memory.)
ME: Terrible.
DAD: That nurse had a bug up her ass.
ME: That incident alone should put me in therapy.
DAD: Please. You’re fine.
ME: So. Coldwater then?
DAD: Yeah.
ME: Okay. Talk to you later.
DAD: Yup. Love you.
ME: Me too. Bye.
fin

This. And yet, he's still the first person I call for advice if I'm worried about something.

-fathErs clEarly Know best