Page Six published this entry the other day where comedians were asked what song was playing while they lost their virginity. The responses were relatively bland, with the exception being Stephen Colbert’s, which was “is screaming my name considered music?”. I laughed noisily about this at erratic intervals for the rest of that week, and then, afterwards, started thinking about (for probably the first time since) the night that I lost my virginity. At first I just tried to remember what music was playing. Once I recalled that, the other details crystallized, and I became obsessed with the topic, which led to me asking my friends and others for their sweet tales of love. In honor of Valentine’s Day, and, all that is romantic, I’ll share mine.
***
It was a dark and stormy Friday night in May of 1997. I was in my freshman year dorm room waiting for my boyfriend, Roy, to come over for a date. We were planning to order in some Papa John’s Pizza and watch a movie (The Lion King, which makes me embarrassed for myself and, even more so, for Roy.). I’d dimmed the lighting to set a romantic mood, and my roommate was out of town for the weekend. When Roy arrived, he called up from the lobby so that I could come downstairs to act as his escort.*
*Note that I went to an all girls' Catholic school with strict rules regarding guys roaming freely in dorms.
On the way up, he seemed quiet so I asked what was wrong.
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“Nothing. It’s fine.”
We were both silent until we reached my room, and then I asked again.
“What’s the matter?”
“I lost my wallet today,” he mumbled rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“That sucks,” I said frowning sympathetically, “How’d it happen?”
“I had it zipped into my fleece pocket at the library, and then accidentally forgot the fleece when I left. I checked lost and found, and they don’t have it,” he sighed loudly, “I’m totally fucked.”
I patted his arm.
We settled in to watch the movie, but the chipper Elton John ballads sung by the cartoon animals were ruined by the overall mood, which was one of oppressive gloom.
About a month into dating, Roy had made it clear that he was ready to have sex whenever I was ready. After that he didn’t mention it again, and five months had passed since so I assumed he’d forgotten about it. His gloomy demeanor was ruining my Friday night, and I was quickly running out of ideas of how to cheer him up. About midway through the movie I suddenly transferred my attention from the TV screen to him.
“I think I’m ready,” I announced in a clear voice.
“For what?” he asked irritably.
“Sex.”
All the sudden a condom seemed to appear out of nowhere.
“Do you always carry those around?” I asked in a disgusted tone.
“No,” he responded defensively, “I was just trying to be prepared.”
I felt immediately guilty.
“That’s great. No. You’re just being responsible, which is really good,” I rambled nervously.
Then, he put on a Dave Matthews CD to set the mood, and turned off all the lights so that it was pitch dark. And. That was it.
We continued dating for a few years, and then broke up at the end of my junior year not long after I got back from studying abroad in Rome.
To summarize…
I lost my virginity during the last week of my freshman year of college on the floor of my dorm room to Dave Matthew’s, Satellite. On a positive note, I was completely sober. On a negative note, I opted to lose it in order to cheer my boyfriend up because he was sad about losing his wallet, which I’m guessing probably didn’t make the top of the Good Reasons to Lose Your Virginity checklist.
So, in the interest of sharing. As a favor to me. For Valentine’s Day. And because my tenth virginity anniversary is coming up this May. I want to know the what’s and when’s of your own romantic tale of adventure.
-EEK
20 comments:
Hmmm, losing virginity, I can only hope mine will be as romantic as yours.
Sorry, I could not resist.
My deflowering was accomplished with a younger, but much more experienced girl, and I don't want to brag, but it was an undoubtedly lackluster performance by myself. I don't recall if I got the "is that it?" response, but it would have warranted.
Family Reunions are always awkward now.
Sorry I couldn't resist again.
I stayed a virgin way longer than I should have and it's been so long since I've been laid, I think everything has sealed up again.
There, Eek. Are you happy now? I'm totally depressed.
But that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you.
:)
Yeah, I'm pretty positive that I lost my virginity at my dad's mid-divorce apartment (which was close to my college freshman year) with my older, more experienced boyfriend on a very drunken new year's eve.
Disgustingly enough - I think my dad was at home and asleep in bed, before midnight.
Even more disgustingly enough - I think I lost it to an Air Supply song. That boy was so seriously obsessed with both 80's songs and Shania Twain - you'd have thought he was like, 40 or something. But no - was only 5 years older than my ripe, ripe age of 19.
And I DEFINATELY the , "that was it?" reaction. Haha. That's not really a fond - nor romantic - memory for me. Cheers!
I lost mine junior year of college, in a crappy room in a crappy house off-campus. It was sort of a bad scene, because, ahem, he was HUGE. Not a good starter, I guess, although I quickly learned to really appreciate how well-endowed he was.
However, instead of feeling super-close to my boyfriend afterwards, like I thought you were supposed to, I really wanted to call my sister and mom and girl-talk about the whole thing. Then I realized, "Oh, they probably don't want to know that." And then I was sad, so I bet there were some tears then, because I'm a pussy like that.
Needless to say, my mom had to find out a week later when I got a raging urinary tract infection from the whole experience, and she had to fax my old medical records down to school.
Oh, the romance of it all....
It was Journey, although I can't remember if it was "Faithfully" or "Open Arms".
I was 17 and he was 22, and we'd been formally dating for 2 monhts. (He was the ex-boyfriend I dumped b/c he lived w/his folks, remember?)
We did it on his water bed, and I got a little sea sick in the process. :) When we were done, he said: "Wow, you shouldn't have given yourself to me so quickly". WTF?!?! I should've replied: "Was that it?"
Although he was older and more "experienced", looking back I realize he didn't have a clue and sex was really boring for the next 2.5 years. Why are we so dumb when we're young??
Wow, the romance just keeps coming...
Let me set the scene:
I'm 17. It's totally dark. The only music playing is the sound of triumph in my head. That and a lot of, "No. It's not it. Put it lower. Ok, too low. Ok. Ok." I was horrible. I know I was. Horrible. I'm good at it now, thanks to practice, but I was just a bumbling guy whose whole body was trembling with excietment. Oh, and I think I came after like two minutes. :) I have no shame.
Also, nothing's sexier than doing it to the Lion King and a song about objects orbiting the earth. Crash Into Me would have been far more appropriate for sex, in my opinion.
I bet your b/f lost his wallet A LOT after that, didn't he. ;)
I was a senior in H.S, with a sophomore girl who was a friend of my sister after the school Christmas dance. It was our second date. It occurred on her parents' couch and Gene Autry was singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." The song was too long by two verses.
It was labor Day my sophomore year in college. I did it with the loser guy who tended bar where I worked. We were outside in a park because we both had roommates. it sucked, but even worse, the paper recycling place by the park caught on fire about the same time and right after we finished, there were cops and firemen asking us what we were doing. "Nothing," I said, and I meant it.
These responses are fantastic.
At the beginning of sophomore (!) year of college my roommate was out of town and my long distance boyfriend came to visit for the weekend. About 2 hours before he had to leave for the airport, we did it in my (upper) bunk without musical accompaniment because neither of us wanted to climb down from said upper bunk to be messing around with the stereo. Actually, it was pretty awesome. In fact, I liked it so much that I demanded we do it again about 20 minutes later.
Then we had to make a frantic rush for the airport, which does not increase the romance factor at all.
(We're still together, 6 years later and the sex is still pretty awesome.)
I lost mine during my junior year of high school to my boyfriend of 7 months. It was at my house, in my bed, and I believe that my parents were home at the time. I had no shame in high school. None. (Not that I have any now!)
sophmore year of high school, we went to 4 drug stores before feeling confident enough to purchase the condoms, to go park at the cemetary across from school, and have sex in the back of the car. His name is Samit, he was a hindu, but has since joined the catholic priesthood. He didn't know he was supposed to move once he'd stuck it in: bad... before that there'd been an episode where some guy stuck me while i cried i didn't want it, but i don't really count that..
I keep trying to write my virginity story in a nice and touching way, but, it always turns out as: lost it to a great friend who now likes boys.
On the upside, I don't think it was me.
On the downside, he was really great, so its a loss for all us girls.
I'm sorry, but who can remember the music when you're so nervous and confused with the other stuff?
Graduation night (high school) after many a malted beverage. I was, um, feeling good and apparently randy. I drove (anyone else miss the 80s before all the stupid drinking and driving propaganda?)to Ronnie's Mom's house (um, trailer) and he romanced me (gave me another beer and turned on some Van Halen) and loved me long time. (3.5 seconds...didn't even get thru the first chorus of Black and Blue)
I was so impressed with our night of love, I subsequently broke up with him and dated his much taller cousin. No sex though. I was afraid that the quick trigger syndrome might be genetic.
I was 18, he was 28. We met after (my) high school graduation at a party, he was a friend's older brother's roommate. I was rebounding from my high school boyfriend breaking my heart, and since I held out through 3 years of dating the same guy in HS, I figured the best way to hurt the ex was to fuck the most insignificant person I could imagine. We were watching TV (probably something stupid like Adult Swim) in the living room of the house he shared with my friend's brother, and we were messing around. One thing led to another, and we were in his room, with some bad fusion jazz on in the background, and I was no longer a virgin. He and the friend's brother were in a band, and I found out that the next time he went to practice, the guys started playing "Zoot Suit Riot" (as in, the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Classy.) You would have thought that the fact that he was arrested on our first date would have hinted that he was not quite the person I should have been with, but I was hell-bent on being the exact opposite of everything I was in high school. Good by little miss perfect, hello Slutty Sultterson.
(PS: The HS boyfriend turned out to be a flaming homo, so really, I think had I ever actually said ok to his request for sex, he would have probably pissed himself. Live and Learn.)
I'll see your Under the Table and Dreaming and raise you a Greatful Dead greatest hits album. I can never hear "Mexicali Blues" without feeling a twinge of embarrassment. Those mariachi horns scream disappointment.
I'm pretty sure I actually lost my virginity on the sofa in my parents' basement at 17 when my boyfriend just wanted to "see how it feels for a second". A second was all it took. But, I like to think that the second time we had sex was my actual deflowering, which took place in his brother's truck, which he borrowed for the night, drove into an apple orchard in the country and laid down some blankets in the back. Is that more or less romantic than on the sofa in the parents' basement? I'm not sure. I mean the short answer is "in the back of a truck", which doesn't sound so hot. I don't think there was any music playing. Just the crickets. The epilogue is that he was from a strict Baptist family and felt really guilty after we had sex. Not that we stopped having sex. He just felt really guilty, immediately, after each time. Nothing more romantic than crushing, post-coital guilt.
In the luggage room of my high school boarding school because it was the only place we could get any privacy.
The second time (a little later) our condom broke and I got too freaked out to go again.
I remember I was pissed off because I had just turned 19 and I thought losing your virginity is something that ought to happen at exactly 18.
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