HOWARD THE WINE GUY: What’re you looking for?
ME: Um…a red. I’m not really sure what kind.
HWG: Do you like heavier varietals…lighter varietals…pinot noirs… burgundies?
ME: I’m not really in the mood for a pinot noir. Maybe I’ll try a burgundy.
HWG: A burgundy is a pinot noir from France.
ME: (in a mildly hostile tone, because I suspect that he intentionally structured his previous question to reveal my ignorance.) Oh...then I don’t want that. Maybe a malbec.
HWG: Have you had one before?
ME: No, but I like the name. It’s a pretty name for a wine.
HWG: Alright. What’re you planning to pair it with?
ME: (shrugs)
HWG: Nothing?
ME: Probably. Maybe some fruit. (this is a lie. i don't have any fruit.)
HWG: Okay. Is it for any particular occasion?
ME: It’s for drinking by myself. At home.
HWG: (nods his head in an understanding manner.) I think we should go with this one then.
Sprawled out on the couch with a freshly poured glass of wine clutched in one hand…
(phone rings)
ME: Hello.
(silence)
ME: Hello?
MICK: What’re you doing?
ME: Watching Deadwood on DVD. What’re you doing?
MICK: Nothing. I just got home from work.
ME: Oh.
(more silence)
ME: What’s up?
MICK: Nothing.
ME: Why’d you call then?
MICK: To say hello.
ME: Oh…do you ever watch Deadwood? I really like it.
MICK: What’d you think of The Wire?
ME: I haven’t seen it yet.
MICK: (annoyed) I told you to rent it.
ME: That’s not true. You said it was good.
MICK: It’s the best show on television.
ME: Huh.
MICK: You never listen to me.
ME: You never listen to me.
MICK: It’s good. You should rent it.
ME: (stretching on the couch) Maybe I will.
MICK: It’s amazing.
ME: I’ll think about it. I’ve gotta run. Lost starts in a couple of weeks.
MICK: I know.
Five minutes later:
(phone rings)
ME: Hello?
SHANNON: Hey, girl! How was your day?
ME: Fine. Yours?
SHANNON: It was great. What’re you doing? Wanna come over and watch a movie?
ME: (pretending to think.) Um…I think I might make it an early tonight.
SHANNON: Okay.
ME: Maybe tomorrow, though. Or Saturday. Saturday I could come over and watch a movie.
SHANNON: I’m going to New York this weekend…remember?
ME: Oh. Right.
SHANNON: Okay. Well…have fun this weekend.
ME: Thanks. You too. Go Bears.
SHANNON: Go Bears.
I’ve officially hit the point during winter where I spend a majority of my waking free time alone indoors watching TV. It sounds depressing, but I feel more content and sleepy, than gloomy. I think it might be my method of hibernating. Is that weird?
Happy Groundhog's Day.
-EEK
11 comments:
No, it's totally NOT weird. I find that I need time to recharge at the beginning of the year, after the craziness of the holidays and before my busy season (work and social) kicks in. So enjoy the wine and the TV!
Wow, Howard the wine guy is a dick. He should know by now you don't try to be helpful to the alcoholics, you just put the bottle in a brown paper bag.
I can't take this week long gap between posts. It's like you don't love us anymore.
I'm sorry. My New Year's resolution was to do 104 posts this year (or two per week). I've got some catching up to do. I'll get back on top of it.
Howard is a little bit of an asshole, but he has amazing taste in wine. That fact alone makes it easy for me to forgive.
That sounds like my perfect evening. I actually didn't mind too much that I've been sick for the last week and a half, I didn't feel like a total douche for passing on actual people in favor of watching My So-Called Life on DVD and drinking Sleepy Time tea.
I do the same thing at times. Mind you as I often tell people, that doesn't eliminate the possibility that you are weird, but it DOES eliminate the possibility of being wierd AND alone in being so for what it is worth.
BD
As long as you are watching tv, you can drink at home alone. It only becomes a problem when you are drinking a whole bottle of wine at home while staring at a blank wall.
If I didn't have to leave the house, I wouldn't. I'm already plotting how to stay in bed all day tomorrow, but I don't think it's going to work out.
Oh, I am the biggest hibernator ever, and when it's 30 below zero with the windchill, I think it's stupid to go outside. I'm at the point now where I need to contact Meals on Wheels.
We have a wine guy named Wally in our town. He's all snobby too, and if he recommends something that you don't like, he gets all defensive if you let him know. I think being a snob must be a prequisite for having "wine guy" attached to your name.
I swear, during the winter, somehow my work clothes come off and my comfies go on, and I don't even know when it happens.
Somewhere between the second and third glass, I suppose.
There is something lovely about hibernating isn't there? And damn, remember when we had to watch tv with commercials?
I like alone and sleepy and content. And let's be real, the temperature outside this week? Fucking inhumane.
Hey EEK, sorry about the Bears. The way Indy was dropping it left and right, I thought they were just asking to be steamrolled. It really could have gone either way. Now that Peyton's sealed the deal and got the monkey off his back, I'll root for the Bears with you next year.
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